It is unquestionable that marriages have problems. The participants all go through difficult and trying times. Some, choose to struggle through these times and come out with their union intact. While others simply give up and end their supposed “life long union.” David Blankenhorn of the Institute for American Values writes that “Even with all its problems, I will support marriage as an institution until something better comes along.” It is clear that Blankenhorn is not referring to the problems that many marriages face but is in fact referring to problems with the institution of marriage itself. In the novel Jude the Obscure, Thomas Hardy negatively portrays the institution of marriage, leaving us with the notion, much like Blankenhorn, that there are certain flaws with marriage as a union.
Hardy portray’s the institution of marriage negatively when he demonstrates what happens when the feeling’s that cause the union to occur are fleeting and obviously weak. Jude’s marriage to Arabella did not serve happiness to either party and as time grew Jude began to realize what a mistake he had made. “Their lives were ruined, he thought; ruined by the fundamental error of their matrimonial union: that of having based a permanent contract on a temporary feeling which had no necessary connection with affinities that alone render a lifelong comradeship tolerable.” (Hardy 81) Obviously Jude realized that his feelings for Arabella were not what they once were, or perhaps that the feelings he perceived were never there at all. Nevertheless, it is clear that the marriage was entered without a strong enough connection to keep the couple together. As readers, we are shown that marrying is too easily done, without proper consideration from both parties. This being the first flaw that Hardy addresses.
Hardy addresses the very same flaw again with the marriage between Sue and Mr. Phillotson. Sue begins to dislike Mr. Phillotson so much that she asks if she may leave him. Before deciding he discusses his intentions with a friend. “And with her unconquerable aversion to myself as a husband, even though she may like me as a friend, ’tis too much to bear longer. She has conscientiously struggled against it, but to no purpose.” (Hardy 286) It is clear that Sue doesn’t feel any “romantic” love towards Mr. Phillotson, that she simply misunderstood her feelings of friendliness towards Mr. Phillotson for feelings that could grow into love. “Perhaps you have seen what it is I want to say?- that though I like Mr Phillotson as a friend, I don’t like him – it is a torture to me to – live with him as a husband.” (Hardy 265) As you can see, Sue’s feelings for Mr. Phillotson were not what she thought they were. Hardy demonstrates again the fact that marriage is something that people preform too quickly, without enough prior thought as to both subjects feelings.
Another fault that is demonstrated with marriage as an institution is that in both marriages people marry our of obligation. These obligations for marrying either disappear or become insignificant as the marriage progresses and the characters become trapped within a union that was made under false pretences. As is the case of Jude, who married Arabella believing that she was pregnant with his child.
“But — ! Why, of course, so unprepared as I was, without a stick of furniture, and hardly a shilling, I shouldn’t have hurried on our affair, and brought you to a half-furnished hut before I was ready, if it had not been for the news you gave me, which made it necessary to save you, ready or no…. Good God!” (Hardy 71)
It becomes clear to Jude that the marriage was rushed and entered into for reasons that he should have investigated further. “There was perhaps something fortunate in the fact that the immediate reason of his marriage had proved to be non-existent. But the marriage remained.” (Hardy 72) Hardy is demonstrating here how the institution of marriage can be a trap and that people feel a certain obligation to marry when certain situations, such as pregnancy, arise. A marriage made out of obligation will no doubt cause the participants great unhappiness.
Another example of one character feeling obliged to marry another is seen in the marriage between Sue and Mr. Phillotson. Mr. Phillotson is very kind to Sue and she feels obliged to him, though she does not feel any real love towards. He has done good things for her and she feels indebted to him.
Mr. Phillotson and I are to be married quite soon — in three or four weeks. We had intended, as you know, to wait till I had gone through my course of training and obtained my certificate, so as to assist him, if necessary, in the teaching. But he generously says he does not see any object in waiting, now I am not at the training school. It is so good of him, because the awkwardness of my situation has really come about by my fault in getting expelled. [emphasis mine] (Hardy 210)
As Sue explains to Jude her reasons of marrying Mr. Phillotson sooner than she had planned she uses words like “generously” and phrases such as “it is so good of him”. These demonstrate to the reader that Sue feels a certain obligation to marry him BECAUSE he is being so generous and understanding. It is as if she can find no logical reason not to marry him and therefore decides she must. Once again, Hardy demonstrates that one of the problems with the institution of marriage is that sometimes people feel obligated to say “I do”.
Perhaps one of the most complex flaws with the institution of marriage that arises within Jude the Obscure is the way in which society views the institution of marriage. It is evident within the novel that marriage is the only socially acceptable way that a man and a woman may maintain a relationship of sorts.
Sue hesitated; and then impulsively told the woman that her husband and herself had each been unhappy in their first marriages, after which, terrified at the thought of a second irrevocable union, and lest the conditions of the contract should kill their love, yet wishing to be together, they had literally not found the courage to repeat it, though they had attempted it two or three times. Therefore, though in her own sense of the words she was a married woman, in the landlady’s sense she was not.
The housewife looked embarrassed, and went down-stairs. (Hardy 412)
After Sue admits that she is not a married women she is kicked out of the lodging that the housewife said she would provide. Sue, Jude and the children are shunned by society because the couple are not married. Viewing the institution of marriage as the only appropriate way of being together as man and wife is damaging to those who wish not to enter into the union.
This flaw is demonstrated again at the end of the novel when Little Father Time decides that he and his brother and sister are a burden to their parents, as they are bastard children, and ultimately chooses to end his and his siblings lives after a conversation with his mother.
“It would be better to be out o’ the world than in it, wouldn’t it?”
“It would almost, dear.”
“‘Tis because of us children, too, isn’t it, that you can’t get a good lodging?”
“Well – people do object to children sometimes.” (Hardy 416)
Little Father Time being the oldest of the children, he is most aware of the way society views him and his family. He knows that his family will have difficulties finding lodgings, that no one will accept them as tenants. If society was more accepting of those who decide against the institution of marriage then, in this case, the children of Jude and Sue perhaps would not have died. This is the last flaw that Hardy addresses, societies unwillingness to accept any union except the union of marriage as appropriate for a man and a woman.
Based on these instances, which have been previously identified and explained, it can be concluded that the characters in the novel Jude the Obscure, with their unhappy marriages, are demonstrating some of the flaws with the institution of marriage itself. Whether or not these flaws are demonstrated intentionally or not and whether or not Hardy is demonstrating his own personal views, is up to each individual to decide. The fact remains that they are there, giving us a bleak look at the supposed happy union, reminding is that nothing is black or white..there are always shades of grey.
